Now available in paperback and ebook format on Amazon:
So, I have decided to share a sneak peek at Freckles the Clown. Not for the faint of heart, Freckles follows several characters through the prison of mental illness and the deception that memory enacts upon us all. Are the memories we have actually true or have we manipulated them in order to remain sane? Do we deny the bad memories as false so that we do not have to deal with them?
Here is the blurb:
As the 20th anniversary of their friendship approaches, Freckles the Clown wants to celebrate with Jim. But, Jim doesn’t like Freckles at all, never considered Freckles to be his friend. As a matter of fact, Jim is terrified of the cannibal clown that forces him year after year to partake in his debauchery. Determined to put an end to his living nightmare, Jim sets out to murder Freckles before he can kill again. But little does Jim know, Freckles has other plans for him. He’s just getting started.
The following is an excerpt from the novel. Enjoy:
“Just because someone thinks they remember something in detail,
with confidence and with emotion, does not mean that it actually
happened,…False memories have these characteristics too.”
Freckles the Clown always loved children, especially when prepared with a nice roux. Oft times his culinary skills, although revolting, were unsurpassed. Jim watched every vile thing Freckles did as the clown traipsed around the strange kitchen in a sort of ballet.
That’s why Jim hated him.
He could’ve told Freckles to stop. He had before but it never did any good. Jim certainly didn’t have the power to stop him. So he remained bound to his chair, tolerating the horrors Freckles enacted when he came around.
Freckles was not a fat clown, quite slim in fact, but he could eat enough to feed an army. Jim would watch him stuff his mouth for hours on end thinking sometimes he would never stop, that he would eat himself to death.
Jim could only wish.
He was nine years old when he first met Freckles, the first time he experienced true terror. As a young child enjoying his time at the circus, being frozen in fear was the last thing he was expecting. He remembered it like it was yesterday.
Jim thought he was a big boy, he told his mother so constantly. When he told her he was going to the restroom by himself she just smiled and patted him on the head sending him on his way.
This was exciting for him, heading into the unknown, finding the restroom by himself.
Just as he sat down and let a loud fart rip, he heard the restroom door slam open followed by a man yelling to himself. A metallic clanging echoed thru the room as the trashcan was kicked across the floor.
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” the man screamed and Jim heard him rush to the sink and turn on the faucet.
Terrified, Jim leaned to the side to see if he could get a better look. A bright orange clown wig sat on the floor by a pair of big red shoes. The man’s suspenders hung around his knees. He was wearing a white tank top. His real hair was plastered to his head. Then, what Jim saw made his blood run cold. The clown’s forearms were coated in blood. He was panting and mumbling under his breath and he scrubbed the blood away.
Jim’s life was about to change forever. As he leaned forward more to catch a glimpse of the grease-painted face of the clown, the toilet flushed beneath him causing him to cry out. He clasped his hand over his mouth and froze, even though it was too late. The sensor of the toilet had sensed his movement and thought he was getting up.
The clown froze and slowly turned, peering over his right shoulder. He locked eyes with Jim through the crack in the stall. Tears ran down his face as he leaned back.
He wasn’t a big boy, no matter how tough he tried to seem. He was nothing more than a small child in this moment, needing his mother.
Jim closed his eyes, hoping somehow lack of sight would make this all go away. He heard the big red shoes shuffling across the tile. The door to the next stall pushed forcefully open. The clown’s heavy breathing was just a few feet away.
Then silence. Jim didn’t want to, but he couldn’t keep from opening his eyes. He tried to lean over somewhat to glimpse if the red shoes were visible. He reached back to cover the sensor, putting his hand over it. He struggled to balance, afraid he would fall flat on his face if he wasn’t careful. Then, the clown would get him.
He cried out. Not just because the voice was coming from above him, but because it was saying his name. He stared up into the face of a nightmare. The clown’s wet hands were clamped atop the stall door. Watery pink blood streamed in rivulets down the steel wall forming a web-like pattern, creating a macabre mural.
“Leave me alone.” Jim forced the words from his throat. It was a meager attempt at best.
“Jim, you need to listen to me.”
Jim squirmed, trying to cover his bare ass and crotch at the same time.
“No need to hide from me. I’m Freckles the clown. I already know all about you, Jim.”
He wanted to scream for help. He wanted to alert anyone within earshot of this predicament. But he couldn’t imagine how this bloody clown knew his name or anything about him.
“You see, Jim, your mom told me all about you.”
The blood dripped from the bottom of the stall door now, collecting in a puddle on the floor. Freckles’ smile widened, his eyes reflecting knowledge Jim had no desire to find out.
Freckles glanced down at the blood and around at the ransacked restroom.
“If you say anything about me or what you just saw me doing, I’ll have to hurt you, Jim. I’ll have to hurt your momma too and I don’t want to do that.”
His smile disappeared, leaving the smeared red grimace to carry on the fake demeanor. That face told him that terrible things would happen if he opened his mouth.
“Oh, I know your momma, Jim. I know her so so well. Her name is Suzy and if you tell her about me, I’ll hurt her worse than I’ll hurt you, understand?”
Jim nodded, his eyes moved down the wall, watching the blood drip to the floor.
“Okay, now that we understand each other, you’re gonna let me finish getting cleaned up and then you’re gonna wait here and count to 100 before you leave that stall.”
“Okay.” Jim shivered.
“Okay. Then, you’re gonna go enjoy the show like this never happened.”
Freckles disappeared from above him and Jim froze, holding back the sob in his throat. He hitched a shallow breath, eyes returning to the crack of the stall door, waiting to catch sight of the clown again.
“And, you better wash your hands, Jim. If I find out you didn’t, there’s gonna be hell to pay. Proper hygiene is very important to me.”
Freckles giggled, his evil laughter made Jim’s head throb. Jim couldn’t hold back anymore. He released his bowels, causing Freckles’ laughter to reach a fever pitch as he finished washing his hands and wiping up the sink with numerous paper towels. Jim watched as best he could without setting off the toilet again.
Freckles picked up his wig, put it back on, checked his make-up and pulled his suspenders up over his bare shoulders.
“You know what, Jim? You and I are gonna be great friends someday, you just wait.”
Freckles gazed into the mirror, catching Jim’s glare.
“See ya, kid.”
Freckles left the restroom and a bizarre silence fell over the space. Jim started counting as he finished his business.
Where did all that blood come from? Did Freckles just kill someone? A million questions raced through Jim’s mind.
“See ya, Kid.”
His mind tried to ignore the promise in the statement. He tried to forget Freckles but it was useless. He was ingrained in Jim’s mind from that moment on. Jim could not escape Freckles.
Freckles was now part of his life.
99 . . . 100.
Jim trembled, his pants still dangling down around his ankles.
Making his way back to where they were seated, his nightmare continued. He saw his mother seated with her back to him. She was laughing her butt off. Any other time Jim would have found humor in this, but not tonight. Standing just a few feet from her, acting the fool just as clowns usually do, was Freckles. Freckles danced around, blowing a kiss at Jim’s mother. Suzy reached out and caught it. To Jim’s horror, he watched her place it against her mouth.
Freckles saw Jim and dropped him a wink before disappearing into the darkness at the back of the tent with the rest of the clowns. Jim felt sick as he sat back down next to his mother.
“You just missed it, Jim. There was a really nice clown over here making me laugh. His name was Freckles.” She laughed. Jim tried to smile and fake approval. He knew after tonight he never wanted to go to a circus again. If he never saw another clown, it would be too soon.
Lying in bed that night Freckles came to him in his nightmares, showing him what the inside of a human body looked like as he eviscerated the corpse of Jim’s own mother. Jim screamed the entire time, tied to a chair, forced to watch as her entrails were removed and Freckles draped them over another nearby chair.